He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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