I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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