Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
