There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
