You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
