I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
