stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
