you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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