If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
