Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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