My liver just broke up with me...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
