My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
