textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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