We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
