Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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