Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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