So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
