dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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