Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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