dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize