Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Special does not even begin to describe that text.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

Fav 47 3430 1824
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(310): View more from California

This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

Fav 17 1054 4462
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(805): View more from California

The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.

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(443): View more from Maryland

THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.

Fav 14 5497 1904
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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(281): View more from Texas

Dinner?

(713): View more from Texas

YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!

Fav 2 1872 796
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(407): View more from Florida

You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.

Fav 0 42 8
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