so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
