Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
