And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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