i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize