Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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