My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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