What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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