im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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