You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
