I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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