Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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