STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
