What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
