guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
