i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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