I wannas sexs uuuuu
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Watching her eat just hurts me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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