It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
