Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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