so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize