you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
