I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize