North Korea, Best Korea!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
