Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
