he puts the penis in happiness.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
