he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
