I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
