We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
