Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

plz talk dirty to me

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(310): View more from California

My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...

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(503): View more from Oregon

you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt

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(541): View more from Oregon

Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

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(415): View more from California

I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

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(352): View more from Florida

I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it

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(805): View more from California

We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.

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