we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize