That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
