yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Who died my cat blue again?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
