I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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