I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
