guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
