we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize