look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
