She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
